Sunday 30 May 2010

Pascal's wager

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, 2010, Vol 32

Pascal's Wager causes riot amongst religious leaders

Today religious leaders had to be separated as a theological discussion turned into a argument of might.

Since Darwin produced his ideas on natural selection, religious leaders have been attempting to combat this idea with worked out creation stories, suggesting that you should believe in religion due to Pascal's Wager. However, one of the key criticisms presented by scientists was that there are too many religions to determine which creation story should be taught.

With this thought in mind, religious leaders including the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, some senior rabbis and imams, proceeded to organise an event to determine which faith should be represented.

During the three day event, leaders of every faith proceeded to make arguments for their cause. However, this turned violent as the arguments began to focus on the negative qualities of each religion.

"Well, it really began when one senior Muslim official heard a Jewish rabbi refer to Mohammed as a paedophile. Then it turned nasty" said one anonymous source. There was a lot of name calling, then pushing and shoving before finally, someone nearly pushed the Pope over. Then, the Archbishop of Canterbury used his mace to crack a few heads open. Last thing I saw was the Archbishop in a headlock with a cardinal shouting something about Henry the Eighth..."

Atheist observers were extremely amused at the scene and helped restrain some of the more violent religious officials.

"I thought we weren't meant to have the moral high ground here..." one atheist chortled. "At least it shows that no matter what religion, people are generally the same....

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