Wednesday, 23 December 2009

We're not here atheists!

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, 2009, Volume 30,
Atheists on the attack

Once people used to turn the lights off and pretend they weren't home when the Jehovah's Witnesses came to call. Now, they have to fear not just the righteous, but the sceptical.

In a quiet street in Cambridge, two people are knocking on doors. Normally, when this happens, you expect two soberly dressed, crew-cut young men to greet you and introduce you to the "Good News". Instead we have two normally dressed people, one an older woman and one a younger man, asking people if they think God exists.

This new ministry has been set up by the local chapter of the British Humanists and we interviewed Richard Dawkins to discuss what the purpose of this new practice was.

"As a scientist and popular author on evolution I regularly get many religious people trying to save me." Dawkins explained. "For a lot of people in this country who are non-religious, these attempts are quite frankly idiotic and annoying. So rather than sitting back and ignoring them, we decided to turn the tables."

These tables, as Dawkins explained, represent people doing the same as evangelicists. But rather than indulging in explanations for God, these atheists, discuss the scientific evidence and the problems with religion.

"We hope to provide an alternative viewpoint to the religious fanatics and to hopefully increase their worry about their tactics" said Dawkins. "Hopefully, if we target some of the Jehovah's Witnesses themself, they might realise how annoying their tactics are. And if we innoculate some people from the religious fanatics they might stop their tactics."

Dawkins then shows me what they do. The video shows two people discussing with an eldery couple whether God may or may not exist and what the evidence is present for a lack of belief. They leave, promising to come back and help out with some minor chores around the house.

However, Jehovah's WItnesses aren't pleased at all with the ideas.

"This is prepostorous!" Said one senior Witness. "These people have no message to send but death and immorality! They mock our moral obligations to the local people completely!"

Whilst this may be so, it is indeed a novelty to open your door to find someone not trying to convert you to believing in their God.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Merry Christmas, now bugger off and steal something else from another winter solstice festival

Well after a hiatus caused by massive workloads, I'm back and ready to write.

Yesterday I had tremendous fun turning away Christian missionaries from the door. I was just about to make dinner for me and my girlfriend when I hear a knock on the door. Next thing I know, I've got two soberly dressed young men asking me if I've heard of the good news from the gospel. And of course, when I politely suggest they move on as I'm not interested and they must be getting cold, they offer to come in!

I have this regularly every month with people who wish to convert me and my girlfriend. I'm currently contemplating which is the best way to get them to leave us alone. Currently, I'm contemplating a counter-campaign of simply asking them if they would appreciate someone trying to convert them to Islam or Atheism. This ideal, whilst appealing, has the regrettable tendency for religious blindness, i.e., they will simply come up with the fact that they have a book which is right, no matter what the other religion says.

Other ideas would be appreciate, but please, I'm looking for the novelty of breaking their pattern of thinking, not trying to frighten them away. Hard to do but...

More to come soon.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Evolution is true!

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 29, 2009
So we were talking about Evolution says Creationist Scientist

Creation Scientists admitted to day that they may have been discussing Evolution in their writings. This occurred after scientists pointed out a recent entry in Answers Research Journal happened to suggest Evolution.

The entry: Purdom, G, 2009, The Role of Genomic Islands, Mutation, and Displacement in the Origin of Bacterial Pathogenicity, Answers Research Journal 2: 133-150. indicated that mutations may have occurred in bacteria which then were naturally selected for in their environment.

"On examination of this paper we find that this does indeed contain aspects of Darwinian theory" stated Ken Ham, "However, we feel that this suits the creation model as it describes Evolution according to the Bible. Thus we propose that Evolution is merely the mechanism described in the Bible."

When pointed out that the Bible contradicted the current model of Evolution Ken stated: "Ah, however, this is our version and I'm sure with a little research we'll be able to make an argument."

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

How to teach a Creation Science lesson

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 28, 2009

How to teach a Creation Science lesson

Due to the demand from faith schools, the JIS has drawn up guidelines on how to educate young Christians in Creation Science. The recommended literature is mainly The Bible, especially Genesis whilst further reading includes the Genesis Flood by Henry M. Morris and Of Pandas and People.

The aim of this course is to educate young creationists in the theories surrounding the Earth's creation. This centres on (mainly) the idea that God created the world as stated in the Bible, around 4004 BC. This requires reading Genesis 1-9 and analysing the theological importance of these words.

It is recommended that the subject matter is learnt by rote rather than allowing questioning of principles surrounding creationism. Pupils must be informed that if reality does not fit the Bible then it is wrong and should be explained using supernatural measures.

Teachers are advised to take the children to Creationist institutes such as the Noah's Ark Zoo in Britain. Close links with RE teachers must also be maintained as well.

Older students should be aware of the competing theories that try and undermine Christian values such as Evolution. In this, pupils are encouraged to think critically and find flaws with Evolutionary biology. Material by creationists such as Ken Ham, Kent Hovind and Michael Behe should also be accessed. If possible, Ben Stein's film, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, should be used to demonstrate the ways that the scientific elite silence objections to their views.

Evaluation should take the form of testing, which marks should be awarded for intelligent use of theological concepts such as irreducible complexity and Biblical accuracy.

Mass deportations seem very distant.....

Good evening and welcome to another post from JIS. This week I am pleased to announce that the Merseyside Skeptics have added me to their grassroots blogroll. In return I am adding them to mine and I highly recommend that if you are in the Merseyside area that you look up their Skeptics in the Pub events which according to one of my good friends, seems to be a great event.

Onto racism. I find racism very, very similar to pseudoscience, especially when we add their "scientific" methods of justification. I was highly amused the other day when I found out that Nick Griffin was allowed to go on Question Time. Despite the controvesy it caused, I was pleased that the program seemed to be a whole hearted dismissal of the BNP and Nick Griffin was proven to be a smug, lying pompous idiot with the knowledge of a peanut and the honesty of a wanted paedophile. I found the hour program had been posted on Youtube here (my apologies for the racist comments that may be on the comment pages of these videos):

Besides this, I was also amused when I found that Nick Griffin stated that true British people are those that can trace their line back 1700 years! As far as I am aware, I can only trace my grandmother's side back to 12th Century (thanks to an extensive piece of research on a very obscure surname) and my surname to the Scandinavian/Norman roots. With comments like this, it is no wonder why the BNP will probably slip back into insignificance again after that scenario.

And for those that wish to have their dose of true pseudoscience, here is this week's RaptureReady poster with how the world looks as old as it is:

Ok y'all stay with me.

For this Experiment you will need: a Bible, one brand new sheet of paper, bowl full of water, hair dryer, blue,yellow, gray, and brown crayons, a lighter, and a pen

Look at the sheet of paper, note that it is brand new.
Step 1: Open Bible to Gen 1 and read verses 1-5
Step 2: Using pen draw a circle on the sheet of paper and label it earth
Step 3: read Gen 1:6-13
Step 4: using crayons draw clouds, water, land, grass, plants, and trees
Step 5: Read Gen 1:14-19
Step 6: Using crayons draw the sun, moon, and stars
Step 7: read Gen 1:20-23
Step 8: Using the pen draw fish in the water and birds in the air
Step 9: Read Gen 1:24-31
Step 10: Using pen draw cows, spiders, and a cat or dog. Then draw two people and label them Adam and Eve.
Step 11: Sit back and look at picture. See how wonderful and perfect it looks?
Step 12: Read Gen 3
Step 13: Using pen draw a snake
SIN has entered the world

Step 14: Crumple your picture and straighten it back out. Do this 10 times. It doesnt look so brand new now does it?

Step 15: Read Gen 6&7
Step 16: Throw picture into bowl of water, crumple and straighten it out
Step 17: Read Gen 8:1-14
Step 18: Using hair dryer, dry your picture compleatly. Your picture is looking a little worse for wear.
Step 19: repeat step 14
Step 20: Using lighter burn hole in middle of picture and quickly put it out.
(I SAID THE PAPER NOT THE HOUSE!!! call fire dept! )
Step 21: Repeat step 14

WOW!! Your picture doesnt look new anymore. Its only a few minutes old!!! But because of it being crumpled and straightend, drenched in water, being blow dried, and set on fire, your drawing looks like it could be 100 years old.

God created the Earth 6,000 years ago. But because of SIN, a flood, earthquakes, and volcanoes it only LOOKS 4.5 Billion years old.

Now look at your Bible. Look at how new it is. Did you know that the words of the New Testament are about 2,000 years old? The Old Testament is even older than that! How cool is that? God can take something so old and make it brand new!
The thread is here however, you need to be signed up to see.....

Monday, 12 October 2009

Ray Comfort edited!

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 27, 2009

Ray Comfort edited!

Last week I mentioned that the evangelist, Ray Comfort was producing a censored copy of Origin of the Species. Due to this, I have decided to produce an edited version of Ray's post on his blog "Atheist Central". Red is my own words on what Ray might actually mean....... Blue are the words deleted.

"If Darwin’s theory was true (which it is but since I'm making money from all this, better we ignored this), there (are) should be buried within the soil, the skeletons of millions of animals changing from one species ("kind" (my own arbitrary definition which has no relation to biology)) into another. But Darwin admitted that they didn’t exist (he didn't know of any because they weren't aware of them). There were none at all in the geological formation (that they knew of). He asks, "Why then is not every geological formation and every stratum full of such intermediate links? Geology assuredly does not reveal any such finely graduated organic chain; and this, perhaps, is the most obvious and gravest objection which can be urged against my theory. The explanation lies, as I believe, in the extreme imperfection of the geological record."

Unbelievably, instead of questioning his theory, he blames deduces geological record (is at fault)! Yet he is forced to admit, "So that the number of intermediate and transitional links, between all living and extinct species, must have been inconceivably great." If Charles Darwin was right, the amount of skeletal remains must have been inconceivably great, and yet in the same passage he again admits to "not finding fossil remains of such infinitely numerous connecting links." They were infinitely numerous (millions upon millions) and they have all (most have) disappeared (due to diagenesis, which I know absolutely nothing about). All of them.

And after 150 years of desperate searching, they still can’t find any (that I won't ignore, despite of the numerous occasions I have been presented with the evidence)."

I feel a lot better now. Apparently this editing lark is quite fun!

I also sent this (as a friendly gesture towards Ray) post which I will copy here for reference:

Dear Ray,

As you disallow urls I would recommend visiting my site, The Journal of Imaginary Sciences on the same blogger network as yours. Please find enclosed under today's date, a post of yours which has been edited for scientific accuracy. This comment is also repeated on my own site as well.

Now as a trained archaeologist, let me take you to task for your discrepancies. Firstly, let us tackle the issue of fossilisation. Look at wiki Ray it is your friend. You might want to note that not all things fossilise. The conditions that the remains are buried in need to be perfect in order to ensure that they survive. It is quite clear to both of us that just leaving out a dead body causes a massive stink and the soft parts decay. After a while, we are left with the bones. But these don't always remain do they Ray? I recommend visiting a nice little place in England called Sutton Hoo, a famous Anglo-Saxon ship burial of a possible early Christian. The body was buried in acidic sandy soil. Bones decay in these conditions Ray and produce what are called "sand mummies" the outline of the remains only.

This outlines that due to natural conditions, remains decay, even the bones, especially if we go outside the Biblical time frame (which scientists do because of the evidence). Even then, a lot of remains would have disappeared because of physical and chemical processes as well as biological ones. A field you may want to look at is diagenesis (using it in an archaeological context) as well, which gives all this information.

Now secondly, let us move onto the hominin remains found in Africa suggesting clear links between us and apes. A paper I would like to direct you to is one by David Strait on knuckle walking, the referencing is given below:

Richmond, Begun & Strait, 2001, The Origin of Human Bipedality, The Knuckle Walking Hypothesis Revisited, Physical Anthropology 44:70–105.

This categorically states that human ancestors such as Lucy had morphological features in their hand which are closely associated with knuckle walking. These hominins however, are defined as bipedal due to the morphology of the foremen magnum being far more similar to modern humans than a chimp!

This of course is to not forget other articles such as:

Cobb, S., 2008, The facial skeleton of the chimpanzee-human last common ancestor, Journal of Anatomy, 212: 469–485

Which examines the facial anatomy of our ancestors including other hominins.

Dean, C., 2006, Tooth microstructure tracks the pace of human life history evolution, Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 22;273(1603):2799-808.

Again this analyses hominin teeth and shows clear evidence of evolution!

Harcourt-Smith, W.E.H. & Aiello, L.C., 2004, Fossils, feet and the evolution of human bipedal locomotion, Journal of Anatomy: 204, 403-416

And finally evidence for the evolution of our feet.

It is clear, from the fossils we do have, that there are transitional fossils. Ray, I highly recommend you correct your mistakes in your post.

Thank you

Any articles you wish to read, please contact me via email for more info.

Monday, 5 October 2009

New Term, new tricks

From today I am officially a PGCE Science student, learning how to educate children in the facts and philosophy of science. I must admit it sounds daunting, especially after all the paperwork we've been given and the suggestions on what we need to do. But I picked it for the simple reason that I want to ensure children become scientifically literate, that they understand how science works and avoid the traps of those seeking to infect others with their delusions. Whilst I love archaeology and I would love to go into academia in that area, I feel that I am not ready for this. Furthermore, I would prefer going into this rich and varied career and coming out confident enough to do a post-grad degree and knowledge of the education sector. Anyway, enough about that, let us tread into the weekly news.

It is with great regret that I found out this week that Kirk Cameron & Ray Comfort, they of the banana fame has announced their proposal to published an "altered" version of the great book, On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin. This edition is rumoured to be heavily edited, with almost half the pages of the original. As the copyright on Origin of Species has run out, it is perfectly legal to do what they are doing, censoring a scientific work to produce their own propaganda. I wonder how many people are going to read this new version and start rehashing tired old arguments of design simply because of idiotic censorship turning quote mines into actual quotes. For more info links are here:

In further news, the remains of Ardipithecus ramidus was given a special treatment in Science with several research papers being published on it.

I think I am going to try and abuse my university ATHENs account to try and get my hands on the papers.........

Onto reviews and yesterday for the first time I more or less couldn't stop laughing after seeing a fat, flightless, green parrot dance on a zoologist's head. Last Chance to See brought us the kakapo, a rare and endangered parrot from New Zealand. I must admit, whilst the format is generally the same (45 minutes of analysing conservation efforts in the area along with other rare species, followed by the last 15 minutes on the actual species), you've got to love the animals they see.

And just for everyone, here is Sirocco's famous moment on TV.....

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Lucy prefers a bitter

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 26, 2009

Missing link is found in British pub

The English pub is noted for its availability for conversation and some good drinks to quench your thirst. However, scientists have recently found that it was home to much more than alcoholic drinks.....

Analysing the anatomy of several locals from a selection of village pubs around England, scientists found that their features closely resembled several species of hominin "found" in the fossil record.

"After analysing several members of the communities and then comparing their measurements and bone structure we found that they closely resembled specimens such as Lucy, Turkana Boy and Shanidar skeletons." said Dr Afreud, Lecturer in Christian sciences at the Patriot Bible University. "We can even demonstrate this with the fact that the Piltdown man was discovered to be human too. This conclusively proves that these fossils that are being dug up by anthropologists are merely the remains of pre-Flood humans. Any discrepancies from this can also be explained as breeding between the Nephilim and the more perfect humans from the time."

After wandering into several British pubs, it seems that the research can be confirmed. In the York Arms, outside the York Minster, several misformed and grotesque individuals can be detected nursing their pints in quiet corners. In any rate it seems that the Piltdown Man's drink of choice is a local bitter.....

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Evolution rising

Good evening and welcome to another week. Unfortunately this week I have had little time to read or see TV programmes, however, I do have a few things to say.

Firstly, Richard Dawkins' show "The Genius of Charles Darwin" is being broadcast on Channel 4 again for UK viewers. The show was in celebration of Darwin's birthday and book this year and I highly recommend it as an interesting review of how people still cannot believe Evolution works.

Tonight David Attenborough's show on Charles Darwin also starts on BBC4. I saw this just before I started writing this blog and again I recommend seeing a great British naturalist present a magnificent show on Evolution.

This week's blog post is a blatantly stolen idea from Ben Goldacre's Bad Science on the Brain Gym. In his review of the pseudoscientific babble that Paul Dennison spouts, Ben Goldacre suggests that waggling his ears could be included into this programme. The other suggestion however, was my own work, building on that. For more information, I recommend Bad Science.

During the past two weeks I have spent my time observing in a local primary school. Coming back into Primary School approximately 11 years after I left the place I was pleasantly surprised to find that this Primary School was a well-run and friendly place with extremely hard-working teachers, a real contrast to my time at Woodley Primary School in Stockport. From my experience I've learnt just how much time teachers have to teach vital subjects and from this I can conclude it isn't enough. This afternoon I spent a session assisting the Year 5 teacher (9-10 year olds) teach about the heart and the circulatory system. Whilst I'm satisfied with the job we did, this took up the entire afternoon, meaning that other subjects which we planned to cover had to be postponed for another day. All the teachers in the school constantly complain of too many government objectives to reach even in reception class (4-5 year olds). I remember (very vaguely) that most of my time spent in reception involved a lot of playing and much less work than the current batch are doing. On the other hand, I have noticed that Phonics (teaching the sounds of the English language to assist reading) and foreign languages have made their appearance in these schools. I personally think this is a good idea, especially when teaching children to learn how to pronounce new words. The foreign languages also helps correct a long term problem with the image of the monolingual English man.

Finally, a little chuckle at Dinosaurs in the nativity!


Had to be done.....

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

On your head

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 25, 2009

Schools encourage standing on head whilst learning

The founders of the popular education programme, Brain Gym have released new guidelines in order to encourage learning prowess and increase the susceptibility of kids to absorb new information. Paul Dennison revealed today that he had divined some new activities to use in the classroom before and during teaching. These include standing on their heads and wiggling their ears.

Brain Gym is the controversial exercise program which relies upon stimulating points of the body to encourage learning. Its methods include drinking small sips of water to wet the palate in order to increase water access to the brain and stimulation of "brain buttons" to encourage circulation to the brain. As a result it has been proven popular with primary school teachers who have claimed that it has been helpful in calming children down and making them receptive to education.

During the interview Paul Dennison stated that:

"After careful consideration I realised that in order to encourage the brain to work efficiently, more blood needed to be pumped to the head. I concluded from this that standing on your head may help with this, using gravity to send more oxygen to the brain. I also realised whilst trying out this position myself that wiggling my ears may also increase my ability to tune out distracting sounds in the environment."

In order to demonstrate this property, Paul Dennison carried out the succeeding question and answer session after wiggling his ears and then standing on his head. Unfortunately, he became woozy after a few minutes and had to cut short this question and answer session that he had with the media.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Rest and relaxtion is over.....

My apologies for the lateness of this post, however, I arrived back in England from Belgium last Saturday and due to me starting my university course, I am currently busy at a placement in a primary school.

During this time I had plenty of opportunity to read two great books on Evolution and watch two episodes of Last Chance to See. The first book I read was River out of Eden, one of Dawkins' books. Dawkins discusses genetics in this book and likens it to the Biblical quote which the book title is based upon. He explores several fallacies such as argument from personal incredulity and displays the problems with these in a systematic fashion. Short and easy to read, this book is probably one of the best books to start with for those looking to explore his work.

The second book is one that again explores the fallacies creationists often propose to try and prove Evolution false. Why Evolution is True, by Jerry Coyne, examines these fallacies and reveals how to avoid them whilst providing clear examples. This is a fairly new book but I highly recommend it for those that are daunted by Dawkins or dislike his negative commentary towards religion. I would possibly question his data involving hominin evolution (such as the neutral manner over the confirmation on whether the Hobbit is a separate species and lending credence to the claim of hypothyroid cretenism), however, these are very minor controversial points in what is generally a very well-researched book. If you do wish to learn how to avoid the pitfalls of non-scientific thinking on evolution I highly recommend this book.

Onto the episodes of Last Chance to See, a TV programme that I am very excited about and I am not being disappointed at all. Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine have seen rare rhinos, chimps, gorillas, lemurs and chameleons in this fascinating show and it really has been a pleasure to watch. The programme is intelligent, informed and fascinating, showing rare species and the measures being taken to conserve them. Its the one show that makes you want to become a conservationist, for the simple reason of protecting these fascinating creatures.

Darwin made me do it!

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 24, 2009

Darwin made me do it, Dawkins explains serial killings.

Earlier today Richard Dawkins, former advocate of Evolutionary Biology was found guilty of murder on 15 accounts and charged with life imprisonment. After the trial we were able to get an exclusive interview with the man where Dawkins explains the reasons behind his murders.

"Well I've often been accused of not following true Darwinian philosophy, being a generally law-abiding person, so when a random Creationist loudly pointed this out to me last year I thought about this a lot. I realised that he was completely and utterly right and that I was being completely hypocritical.

Evolution states that it is "survival of the fittest", that there are no laws, no commandments from God, no morals, etc, just who is the strongest wins. After thinking on this I changed my lifestyle.

I started murdering people shortly after, often picking on the weak as they were obviously not fit for survival. Those that actually did survive, I admire them for their strength. I used my natural abilities including my brains and devised elaborate traps to test their fitness. Those that failed died.

This lifestyle lead me to be selfish and hedonistic, as my book the Selfish Gene depicts. I killed mainly men to clear the competition too, so that I could impregnate as many women as I could, as Darwinism preaches.

I believe I've done nothing wrong. After all, aren't I just trying to re-introduce Darwinism back into the lives of people? The fact that somebody caught me merely shows that I am weak and not fit any more to pass on my genes."

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Last Chance to See

I often wonder whether or not some creationists are mentally ill. Whilst I agree my last post was a little over the top, it does make me wonder whether some of the illogical things they have been known to do for their faith are the acts of a disturbed mind. Ignoring the religious fundamentalists that blow themselves up to promote their visions, creationists can be some of the most dangerous religious people around. Acts of illegal censorship, hoaxes, frauds and down right lying show how far these people will often go to keep their reality intact as well as attempting to propagate it. Those vocal and energetic defenders of the faith who tour countries, write books, spam web forums, fake evidence just to try and prove a belief without ever questioning the ethical dilemma this poses are indeed worrying people. Only logic and the outcasting of such insanity can truly hope to banish it to the fringes again.

I watched the extremely good first episode of Stephen Fry's Last Chance to See. The show is based upon the original series of the same name presented by Stephen Fry's friend, Douglas Adams, who become a passionate conservationist after researching the series. After Douglas Adams' death, Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine (the original zoologists that Douglas Adams did the show with) set out to discover how the rare species from the first series 20 years ago, fare today.

The first trip took us to the Amazon where Fry and Carwardine saw the rare manatee, a type of underwater cow for lack of a better description. In this, we saw how rare these animals were and what steps were being taken to try and save it from extinction. At the same time we got to see some pink river dolphins (possibly the best way of hooking the audience by showing them one of the most loved animals around in a pretty shade of pink) and Stephen unfortunately breaking his arm towards the end. However, I found the shots of the animals together with Fry's boyish enthusiasm combined with his exquisite vocabulary entirely viewable. Rhinos tomorrow I think.

Creationism, the new mental illness

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 23

Creationism, the new mental illness

Today mental institutions were in shock as it was announced throughout the medical community that the people who propose the idea that a deity created the Earth as it currently is, without any acceptance of Evolution are to be considered mentally disturbed and in some cases dangerous.

A report was recently published in the scientific journal Nature, which demonstrated the lack of connection between creationists and the modern world, showing that prominent creationists such as Kent Hovind, Ken Ham, etc, were living in a fantasy world of their own devising which could cause them to resort to extreme measures in order to maintain these illusions.

Dr Suess of the Royal Institute for Mental Illness stated this morning that:

"The people that often propose the literal translation of the Bible is true, often have been found to resort to deceit, threats of violence, intimidation, paranoia and immature behaviour in order to propagate their own world view. Evidence of this includes attempts of illegal censorship, death threats towards prominent scientists and the common practice of internet trolling. This has been found not only occurring with the prominent figures supporting creationism but normal internet posters. After extensive study of their behaviours including laboratory tests, psychological researchers have requested that some of the prominent figures in the creationist campaign are put in a secure institute for the safety of others and that re-education should be attempted.

Doctors at a range of mental institutes have reacted with horror at the news.

"We're going to run out of facilities in religious areas" moaned one un-named psychologist. "With a high percentage of people in places like the Bible Belt in the USA, it'll mean putting whole communities in the institutes! We haven't the room!"

Outside the Texas Home for the Mentally Frail, a shot of Kent Hovind is shown, being dragged in a strait jacket into his new home whilst angry protestors demand his release.

"This isn't fair, you can't lock up people simply for having a different viewpoint" cried one angry protestor. "Afterall, its just as equally valid as Evolution!"

Whilst this may be a successful day for reason, it seems a dangerous day for free speech.

Saturday, 5 September 2009

And we're back

After a long summer, I have finally got my net sorted again and I am happily typing new stories for the Journal. Hopefully, over the next few weeks whilst I have a lot of leisure time, I am planning to devise new stories with the extensive material I've gathered during my free time reading.

Over the holidays I managed to read 2 great books, Bad Science by Ben Goldacre and The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins.

Bad Science, by Ben Goldacre covers the world of bad medicine mainly. It looks at practices such as Homeopathy and Nutritionalists and covers the problems with their science. It explains how scientific fraud can be carried out and how to detect it. With its analytical nature and good writing, I feel this is one book I would definitely recommend for anyone interested in delving in a more complicated side of the pseudosciences. After reading it I

The Blind Watchmaker is another of Richard Dawkins books. In this book Dawkins analyses the criticisms with Evolution and how they are overcome as well as presenting his own views on the various stances in Evolutionary Biology. A great comprehensive and accessible guide to the subject which helped me learn more about the ideas behind it as well as open my eyes to other aspects such as convergent Evolution.

Finally, we mention this week's Journal entry, water memory. I found this particular link to the wiki fascinating:

Man dies from Strychnine poisoning in Homeopathic rememdy

The Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 22, 2009

Man dies from Strychnine poisoning in Homeopathic remedy

An unknown man was admitted to hospital today after suffering from Strychnine poisoning caused by a homeopathic remedy which he had recently taken. The remedy was a new drug, being tried out for the first time in order to treat convulsions.

Homeopathy relies on the idea that by diluting the causes of symptoms (e.g. strychnine for convulsions) it would cure the problem. This is done by diluting the substance in water about 30 times and shaking it (succusation). This apparently creates a memory in the water in which the remedy uses to work upon. Unfortunately this caused the patient to suffer from the same convulsions that the remedy was trying to prevent.

The man was later reported to have died in hospital.

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Extended hiatus

I have recently moved into my new house with no internet and my computer is at my parents and I am currently typing this in a rather funky bar/net cafe in York called the Evil Eye which I really recommend. I will be living without it for a while whilst me and my girlfriend find jobs. Then I will be organising a internet package with Virgin. I will start posting then.

My apologies

Sunday, 28 June 2009

So simple it must be true!

The Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 21, 2009

So Simple it must be true!

The team at Answers in Genesis have recently unveiled a new debate strategy against Evolution. Their founder, Ken Ham, revealed the new strategy on the site in a recent post.

"Often wisdom comes from the mouth of babes. Previously we stated that teaching your children at a young age the truth about the young age of the world and God's creative power was a good thing. However, research on my own offspring their own offspring has revealed that even they as young children were able to recognise the truth of the Bible and have rejected this message from evolutionists. Their acceptance of this fact demonstrates that the Bible is correct as even children are capable of recognising the truth of God's statement."

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Holidays beckon

Good afternoon and welcome to another week of articles, etc.

I am sorry to say that next week there will be no updates as I will be in Belgium and whilst I could update, I would rather spend time on more pressing things, i.e. the girlfriend I will be with. Updates will hopefully resume as normal the week after.

I might also add, the article may be late this week as I am busy today. Fear not, because the news shall still be posted here.

Firstly, this reposted article on made me stop and think. It kinda makes you think how much creationism considered the lunatic fringe and really has no place in science. Unfortunately, with their tendency to shout and scream as well as throw their toys out of the pram, creationists are a serious threat. Simply because the doctrine is idiotic.

I managed to get my July edition of Current Archaeology today. One of the things I noticed was their feature on Alice Roberts. It seems that the general archaeological community is supporting her program as fairly good. There is a brief extract in the link, but the article does back up the claims Alice Roberts makes.

The free paper on British transport, The Metro, had this article on exorcisms done on homosexuals in Britain this week. (please note, the link was problematic for me)

And a week ago I was complaining about practices in the Middle East!

On and on a lighter note, LucidFlight posted this on the

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Expelled Star gives up on modern living

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 20, 2009

Expelled Star gives up on modern living

Today, Ben Stein announced he was giving up his lifestyle as an actor and economist as he w\as about to go back to nature.

The star of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, announced that due to the reliance on evil science in the modern world, he was going to return to nature in order to avoid the comforting evil brought on by modern Godless, science.

The star explained that this derived from a comment he once made, in which he stated that:

Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people."

Someone, he said, pointed out that all modern technology was brought on by science. He then decided that this meant he must renounce technology and live in the woods like the animals. He then proceeded to tear his clothes off and run stark naked into the woods behind the press conference centre.

Several hours later, Mr Stein, was escorted into an ambulance and treated for hypothermia. Police are also cautioning him for public nudity.

Pseudo-science, no excuse for manslaughter

Good afternoon and welcome to another sunny weekend. For once, I have not one but 4 news articles which have attracted my attention this week. Let's look at the all.

Firstly, my attention was brought to this amusing site Election Meter

If you notice, it has the all too predictable poll on Evolution vs Creationism. I would like to also draw your attention to the part of the graph which marks the 2nd of May.

This my friends, is what happens when PZ Myers encourages people to vote on an issue. I'm glad it shows quite a nice bias to a scientific theory. As a result it brightened up my day a little.

Onto some more sober news, the Saudi Gazette has published a story which detailed the arrest and trial of a 70 year old man, accused of witchcraft. Now I don't know about you, but 840 lashes and a 3 year prison sentence for having different beliefs is fucking inhumane. I'm seriously glad that I live in the UK where this thing is not supported by law (with the humorous exception of the Stockport Witches, which I might add, only includes barring them from worshipping in another religious place). Its shocking that some people are so closed minded that they can't accept people examining other options. I would advocate more on this subject, but it seems rather tricky to comment upon, considering the nature and the tensions in the area.

Onto faith healing now and another trial is taking place in Oregon, where a couple have been accused of manslaughter. Again we've seen another trial, which suggests an increase in common sense on these issues. I'll be glad if people finally see that conventional medicine actually does work.

And finally, a more peculiar article. Apparently, some homeopathic remedies may have side effects. Now I'm rather confused with this idea. Somehow, someone isn't diluting them like they apparently should be doing........ I'm rather confused here......

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Supermarkets show record levels of tin foil being sold.

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 19, (2009),

Supermarkets show record levels of tin foil being sold.

Supermarkets have displayed a record level of tin foil being sold since May 2008 last year. The manufacturers have stated they are currently lagging behind demand as tin foil is continuously being reordered by supermarkets.

"We're not entirely certain what the cause of this is" said one supermarket spokesperson. "There is no cause as far as we can see really."

When independent researchers did a survey of the people buying tin foil, many of them simply said "cooking", however, one or two referred to a documentary they saw recently called Expelled.

Subsequent research demonstrated that the sale of tin foil increased more or less to the day that the film was released. Discovery Institute had this to say:

"We are pleased to note people are wearing the hats as they encourage reception between themselves and the Designer". The scientists who describe this as rubbish are on the same side as the evolutionists who are suppressing our free speech".

Tin Foil Hats

Censorship and free journals

Hello and welcome to another week.

Today several news items have caught my eye. Firstly, I would like to bring to attention this video:

As we can see, the DI seem to have been caught filing illegal claims. Besides the obvious legal problems with this, it is clearly an act of a black hole coloured kettle describing the "apparent" matte finish of the pot. These are people who complain science is out to censor them. Its clear what they want is simply to impose their own idiocies in place of actual science. As a result, I'm happily putting up (in big flashing lights) DonExodus's video here. Maybe I'll put it up next week too.........

Onwards to my life. Now on my course, there are people that despite my own bemusement, believe in creationism and want to become science teachers. Whilst I have only minor unvoiced problems (any problems that occur due to this are going to be thankfully away from me), I don't enjoy it when I get preached at. I'm not religious, I don't want to talk about God, I just want to get on with my life. As I was leaving college the other day, I get one of my coursemates proceeding to engage me in a conversation on my opinions. Whilst I am happy to explain my opinions, I do expect a degree of respect for them. If I say I am agnostic, it is respectful to understand why I said that, because quite simply I don't know if there is a God and I find them utterly impossible to prove. However, stating my opinion is crap and is fence sitting shows a certain stupidity which I do object to.

Another habit I have is reading science books when I have free time before/after/during my classes. I enjoy learning about science and opinions on it from professionals. So when I get the forementioned person commenting on my reading material (its crap) I do get annoyed, especially when this person a) is a YEC and b) has never read these books. I don't know about you, but having this shoved in your face is irritating to the extreme and whilst I would usually ignore it, today you lucky people have a page of ranting from yours truly.

Onward to something cheerful. I found this enjoyable link today which allows you to subscribe to a free Evolution Education journal. Simply register and the articles are free.

Please enjoy and may I add, thank you for those scientists setting this wonderful journal up.

Enjoy the rest of the articles this week.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Science works

And hello again on this blog. My apologies for last week, however, I was busy and since I am starting to prepare for my big move to York to live with my girlfriend, there may be problems occasionally putting up posts.

As you can see, I've started a new post relating to hilarious pseudo-scientific methods of debate made by those wacky pseudoscientists. I made a draft of some points last night, however, I feel it is incomplete and as a result, each month I will update the post with new and funny posts I have found on the net. Let's just hope that "Dr" Davison (apparently he's very keen to have people refer to his title despite his retirement) whose blog wall I wrote on recently, comes over here to debate with me as he hinted. However, I think this may be an empty threat as I see a certain apathy when it comes to debating the problems with his objections to modern science.

Onto reviews. I've been able to watch a further 2 episodes of Dr Alice Robert's series: The Incredible Human Journey and I'm still fascinated. I've heard from people that the show is often too "poppy" and using non-peer reviewed material, but I'm not entirely certain. The show I watched on Europe fits into my archaeological knowledge (and what I know as standard archaeological ideas) and the series also has the excellent Chris Stringer helping research it. Trawling through the net I'm hard-pressed to find any negative reviews by the tv critics either. If anyone knows of any critical reviews, I would love to see them so that I can understand where I may have missed something. But so far, I'm glad series like this are present on the BBC.

The other day I also found this article on a friend's facebook account. Now this story really pissed me off. Now let me outline something Thomas Sam, I have eczema. Your point you made in your speech that:

"Conventional medicine would have prolonged her life ... with more misery. It's not going to cure her and that's what I strongly believe."

Is fucking stupid. Of course conventional medicine doesn't cure us, its a disorder which is genetic. What you could have done, is use conventional medicines to prevent her scratching. I use E45, a salve in Britain which helps moisturise. This child could have been living if you, her parent had kept her skin moist! Just taking care, ensuring this child had the right clothing/soaps/moisturisers/food, etc could have kept her alive and prevented your stupidity.

Conventional medicine would have indeed prolonged her life and as a sufferer I can say it can make it livable. I probably didn't have the same problems or the same severity of this child (my eczema is mild at this present time), however, I've had infected cuts from scratching in my sleep, which was treated thanks to a good doctor.

People like this just sicken me with their inability to comprehend that modern medicine works.

Article on Thomas Sam's daughter

Davison's blog article

Saturday, 6 June 2009

How to debate as a pseudo-scientist, quotes

I thought, as a follow up to my last article I would now quote from examples in this matter. These are a list of quotations taken from pseudoscientists which are mostly, quite amusing. Most of these are from creationist sources simply because they are convenient and take up most of the webspace in this.

1. Preaching

FSTDT always has beautiful quotes:

"Physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity'. And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus..."

From here

2. Spelling and Grammar

Robert Byers is a world leader in this field. Look him up on FSTDT

3. Credentials.

I am reminded of the dentist, Stephen B. Lyndon, who constantly seemed to have lied about his credentials in his blog. Check the discussion here on for more.

4. Ignore their points.

I recently got into an argument on John A. Davison's blog. This was because one of his supporters, VMartin, ended up systematically ignoring my points.

As you can see there was a reason I decided not to return, which was due to the abusive nature of Davison and his webmaster. Interestingly enough they haven't decided to post here........

5. Argue from Improbability

I found this discussion here

6. Generalise.

There are many arguments like this. However, I found this wonderful one here

7. Hitler

Godwin's Law is ancient. Therefore, let's have a giggle here:

Almost every issue Hitler was for Hussein is also for.
Hitler was all in favor of human experiments. Obama loves to support murdering babies and human embroyos.

Hitler believe in evolution. Claimed to be a Christian. Was for gun control. Started the brown shirts. Believe in labeling anyone who disagree with him as potential danger to the father land. Hitler's picture was everywehere . Obama picture is everywhere. Hitler was immoral goddless and a meglamaniac. Obama is far more evil and ego is only surpassed by Satan .

Nazi Germany under Hitler commited unspeakable crimes against humanity.

Obama commits unspeakable crimes against the innocent babies so don't tell me that Hitler licensed murdering and Obama doesn't!!!!

Obama upcoming forced volunteer force will be larger than the US military according to Obama nazi squad. "

8. Quote Mining

Please see this article here by me for more.

9. Mud-slinging

Again, I find Davison's vitriol against me as an anonymous poster incredibly interesting considering he has a webmaster that is anonymous.....

10. Mis-applied Science

This is possibly a classic:

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. "

Emphasis added by the person who added it to FSTDT.

See here

This post will be a work in process as I get more and more quotes. My apologies if this seems unfinished, but it will be worked upon.


How to debate as a pseudo-scientist

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 18, (2009),
How to debate as a pseudo-scientist

As an eager follower of the pseudo-sciences you may wish to engage in debate with others in order to convince them of the joys of your particular belief. Here is a guide produced by some of the foremost debaters in these circles on the net.

1. Preach. You need to educate your foes with what they are dealing with. Preaching your points at them prevents them from actually raising points of their own which could damage your argument. The more you say, the less they can produce.
2. Spelling and grammar. This is optional. It doesn’t matter whether you can type anything, just as long as you think it supports your argument.
3. Credentials. All arguments seem better when you have credentials. If you haven’t got any, imply you have. Don’t worry about being called a liar, they won’t find out…….
4. Ignore their points. Why bother listening to their arguments? You know you’re right.
5. Argue from improbability. Scientists come up with strange and fascinating arguments, but they are all improbable. State that.
6. Generalise. All scientific objections against your points are easily evaded when you show in general terms how daft their arguments are. Classics include that your family aren’t descended from monkeys. This will result in them trying to raise more and more objections until they can’t remember what they were arguing about.
7. Hitler. Everyone knows Hitler was a bad man. So if he did something, it must be bad too!
8. Quote mine. Quoting is a good way of putting forward your argument from authority and if the quotes need editing well so be it.
9. Mud-slinging. These people who you debate are often vile unbelievers who need to be shown the errors of their ways. Remind them of that.
10. Use mis-applied science. Often science can be used against itself to show the problems with the idea. An example is the second law of thermodynamics which contradicts Evolution.

All these are good and tried methods of debating and have worked exceedingly well against sceptics. One of thing you must remember is this. You’re always right and that the belief from whichever book or leader you have, is always correct. Ignore those who seek to waylay you, you know the truth.

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Diploma-Mill Creationists win University Challenge!

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 16, (2009),
Diploma-Mill Creationists win University Challenge!

After a thrilling series of University Challenge, a surprise team from the Patriot Bible University defeated the Oxford University students in the Grand Final. The team, comprising of a creation science student, a Christian educationalist student, a MA student in homeopathy and a PhD student in advanced spiritualism took on the Oxford students in a thrilling and gripping finale.

The team were noted for their accurate answers especially in their main subjects of Christian theology. Indeed, on some occasions they successfully corrected the questions that Paxman gave them.

Bob Doubt, a biology student from Oxford said:
“I’m surprised at the accuracy of their answers. We never really stood a chance. I wish we had gone to this diploma mill rather than the prestigious Oxford.

Jeremy Paxman commented on the final saying:
“I don’t know how they did it. They put me in my place with their extreme accuracy and frighteningly intelligent questioning.”

When discussing the victory with the Patriot Bible students they said:
“It was obvious we were to win. God made it so we studied hard and managed to cover the correct areas in the questions. It shows his love of us and the fact that he can reward those who worship him”.

Patriot Bible University

(more to come tomorrow)

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Intelligent Falling, the new alternative to the Theory of Gravity

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 16, (2009),
Intelligent Falling, the new alternative to the Theory of Gravity

At the Discovery Institute today, the Intelligent Designists revealed a new campaign placed to challenge the existing status quo. Whilst they have spent years debating Evolution, Intelligent Design advocates have now turned their eyes on the Physics world.

“We wanted to look at how a designer may have implemented the physical rules that we see operating in our world today” said Michael Dembski. “We soon came to realise that the Designer had made several complex and intricate laws that are irreducibly complex. We have decided to now start a new campaign which tries to teach the alternative theory to the Theory of Gravity”. We argue that without the exact precision that the Designer implemented into these laws, we would have not come about and this universe would not be as it is today. The Theory of Gravity is like the Theory of Evolution. As a result we argue that our Designer tells things to fall and commands gravity. Using the equations surrounding gravity we were able to calculate an unknown factor, intelligently deciding what things should fall. For example, look at the fact that people and heavy weights fall whilst airplanes can fly. This is obviously evidence for a designer at work.”

Prominent physicists such as Stephen Hawkings have criticised the idea, describing it as “ludicrous” however, Dembski replied with:

“Stephen Hawkings said that “It would be very difficult to explain why the universe should have begun in just this way, except as the act of a God who intended to create beings like us.". So this indicates he may be hiding his opinions here when it comes into Intelligent Falling. After all, we have described before in “Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed” the conspiracy of the mainstream scientists trying to prevent research into an Intelligent Designer. It is clear that our friend Stephen is being motivated by these people to speak untruths”.

*Please note that the quote attributed to Stephen Hawkings is a quote mine for the purpose of this satire. This is not what Hawkings meant and a link has been inserted to show the correct quotation

Quote mine

The News 9

Books, Books and more Books

Welcome to another week. I’ve been fairly busy at the moment, so I’m only writing the one article this week, satirising the Intelligent Design claims with the infamous Intelligent Falling. Hopefully next week I should have had time to get up to date with articles and be able to watch my backlog of science programs.

Recently, I have been browsing my local Waterstones whilst waiting for the train. I’ve found a few tasty books on Science including Ben Goldacre’s “Bad Science” and many, many books on Evolution. Unfortunately, as I browsed the section I’ve found a few dedicated to the topics of creationism, intelligent design, etc. Not to advocate them, but to defend Evolution against them. It is unfortunate that this happens. Evolution shouldn’t need to be defended, it’s a robust scientific theory. However, some people do not understand what science is.

I would also like to add that the Stephen Hawkings quote is a purposeful quote mine and should not be used to espouse any suggestion that there is a God.

Stephen Hawkings quote mine
Bad Science
Intelligent Falling

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Campaigners for repatriation end all forms of archaeology.

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 15, (2009),
Campaigners for repatriation end all forms of archaeology.

Universities across the globe have been closing their archaeology & anthropology departments today as repatriation campaigners successfully claimed back all the remains and finds collected by them.

The repatriation debate has been carried out for some time, as ethnic groups, complaining against the imperialistic attitudes of scientists who stole bodies from them, have mounted successful campaigns to get their ancestors back. Indeed, laws have been passed in Australia and America in order to allow these minorities to claim their ancestors from musty shelves in collections. Whilst this was seen as a good compromise by some, it was argued that it was not just the remains that were being disrespected. Several campaigners argued that all artefacts found with these remains were grave goods and as such should be reburied along with the bodies. This line of reasoning was also extended to all artefacts as the campaigners argued that the people wouldn’t want strangers messing around with them.

“Its terrible,” said one archaeologist. “We can’t study the remains any more as the ethnic minorities have reclaimed them, now we can’t study their artefacts! We can’t do anything any more except make wild claims. Without the evidence we’re as bad as the Eric von Däniken guy who stated the pyramids were made by aliens!”

As the universities close, some ask what the archaeologists can do now they haven’t any jobs.

“Go and become builders” said one happy campaigner, “at least you’ll be doing an honest job!”

You’re a fraud and you know you are says spirit to the medium.

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 14, (2009),

You’re a fraud and you know you are says spirit to the medium.

Today the spiritualist community was shocked as a spirit hit back against the so-called mediums through a medium. Madam Mystic was performing a usual séance with her clients when a spirit, calling itself Arthur Doyle apparently spoke through her.

“We were all set-up, ready to perform the usual weekly séance when it happened”, said Mrs Smith, “I was there to see if I could speak to my husband George, who passed away 2 years ago and Madam Mystic was just preparing herself to call her usual spirit guide- Big Chief Bob when this strange English voice started to speak. It said that Madam Mystic was a fake and that to be perfectly honest, no-one on the other side really wanted to know what people were doing here as it was far better there.

Another client, Mr R Derrick, spoke of his satisfaction of seeing Madam Mystic being outed.

“I’ve been to a few of these “so-called séances before, only to think that these people were trying to collect money. I’ve been trying to gather evidence to prove these charges against them until today. Madam Mystic was busy, preparing her act and then suddenly she jerks, right, looking like she’d seen a ghost. Then this guy’s voice started speaking, I mean, she looked totally baffled by what this voice was saying and it was clear she had no control over it.”

According to eye-witnesses, the spirit introduced itself as Arthur Doyle, as in the famous novelist. After apologising to the guests for his lack of manners, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle proceeded to inform them that this woman was a charlatan and that they on the other side weren’t too bothered about what was going on. Apparently, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle informed them that it was the amount of people getting to the afterlife, to find out their relatives didn’t know about the talks that they had been having, that drove the spirits to do this.

Unfortunately, both Madam Mystic and the late Sir Arthur Conan Doyle were unable to comment.

The Ancestor’s Tale

And another week has passed. This week I managed to finally see the first episode of “The Incredible Human Journey with Dr Alice Roberts. I must confess, with the opening credits and the deluge of programmes on Evolution, I was initially sceptical of this program. Sure, it covered a different angle (looking at how we colonised the world), but it seemed rather “trendy” than serious science. Dr Alice Roberts, has a tendency to speak in book titles, with some occasions I was expecting her to quote some like “Bones, Stones and Molecules” and “The Ancestor’s Tale”. Despite this, I really enjoyed it. Once Alice Roberts started going into the details she provided clear demonstrations of modern anthropological views, making details such as the differences between our species and the other human species, incredibly clear, even to those without the training that I’ve received. Despite my study of the topic with some excellent lecturers at the University of York, Dr Alice Roberts managed to emphasis how brief my degree’s coverage of Human Evolution was. The difficulties getting through the Sahara Desert were brought to life in a way which I’ve never experienced in the seminars I’ve attended and the papers I’ve read. Despite the apparent over-dramatical start, Dr Alice Roberts has produced a programme I want to watch, if only to learn more.

Unfortunately, the programme won’t bring those who need to learn more about Evolution. Those that scoff it and insist on the literal truth of their religions will ignore it, which I find sad. We have these wonderful attempts by people passionate for their subjects, who are always attempting to learn more about who we are, what we’ve done and everything about a beautiful world and they get ignored by those who think God created the Earth in 6 days. There was an Ancient Greek school of philosophers who used to teach rhetoric and oratory, who used to think they were capable of arguing black was white. They were called Sophists and to be quite honest, they remind me more of those sophists that Socrates and Plato railed against, rather than the great philosophers of that time.

This week, I also introduce something close to my heart, Repatriation. I’m all for repatriation in some particular cases, I would gladly give back aboriginal remains to the Australian Aborigines and the Native American remains to their descendents. But we can’t take this too far. The study of human remains should be continued, otherwise we get the old practice of grave-robbing again. Those that object to the showing of mummies in museums should also remember that if we’re talking about respect, maybe we shouldn’t show their possessions too. Covering them with a modern white linen veil like the curators of Manchester Museum have done, will not afford them any more respect at all.

Saturday, 9 May 2009

Crocoduck found. Creationists state that this disproves Evolution

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 13, (2009),

Crocoduck found. Creationists state that this disproves Evolution

Breaking news was found as a new species was discovered today. Creationists and Evolutionary biologists are in shock as the new species, named Crocoduck was revealed.

The species, known as Anas Crocodylidae was predicted by Ray Comfort, a creationist known for stating that the banana was intelligently designed. Ray’s argument was that one species should give rise to another species with qualities that are in between. He then argued that an example would include the crocoduck for the transition between lizards and birds.

However, when news of this new species had arisen, Ray then backtracked, stating:

“This marvellous crocoduck is evidence against Evolution as the evolutionists have been telling me for years that this is not how it works. In that case, it proves God’s existence.”

Ray Comfort

Warning: May Contain Sarcasm

Hello, and welcome to another week of satire. Distind at FSTDT has been generous and sometime this weekend he will be adding this blog to his Friends of FSTDT. It is a pleasure to have such a well-known website working together with this blog to demonstrate the ridiculous ideas of the fundamentalist.

Now, as you might know, I received this comment from an “Anonymous” poster this week:

“This blog is a total satire, out to make fun of Ken and creationism. You can safely dismiss anything it says as untrue.”

Now earlier this week I had a fundie commenting on another website that my blog was a lie and referred to that same post. Jeff Wallen was the name of the poster and I suspect he was the anonymous person informing people about it being a satire. Jeff, if it was you, don’t worry. For all those people like you who are unable to read the words “Why Answers In Genesis is truly ridiculous.” in my slogan I shall change it to: Warning: May contain satire. I can understand that as a fundamentalist you are unfamiliar with humour Jeff, so I’ll make it easier for you. Maybe you might want to also look at all that evidence I provided for you on that board.

Just in case Jeff doesn’t read this blog, I will send him a link to it. I hope to see many more “helpful” contributions Jeff…..

Saturday, 2 May 2009

AIG- The ultimate Poe

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 12, (2009),
AIG- The ultimate Poe

Creationists were shocked today as Ken Ham revealed that Answers In Genesis, his company which promotes the teaching of creation science in education is a hoax.

The prominent creationist told journalists that:
“We are sorry to announce to creationists that the organisation, Answers in Genesis is a hoax. The organisation was created in order to satirise creationist beliefs and the example taken from our creationist museum highlights this. Unfortunately, people have taken this seriously and as a result have perpetuated this hoax far more than we could ever do. We must state that creationism is truly ridiculous and should not be used as an example of how God created the earth.”

Evolutionary Biologists and science educators claimed that this particular hoax was extremely damaging.

“We had no idea it was a Poe” said Eugenie Scott. “We’ve been struggling against them for years, raising our blood pressure with their ridiculous arguments and then they go and tell us they were joking? Do they know how much time and effort has been directed away from research and instead defending Evolution? This really has wasted the time of academics and teachers everywhere….”

Creationists have also expressed their opinions on the matter.

“Ken Ham is a godless man and his lies and deceit will be noticed and punished by God. The creation sciences will overthrow Evolution and prove that God made the Earth as stated in the Bible.”

A Flight from Science & Reason

Hello and welcome back. Whilst last week was relatively quiet, I have some snippets of news this week as well as some discussions.

As Volume 11 shows, I have turned a blog post towards the idiocy that is the creationist battle cry “It’s Just a Theory!” This is probably one of the oldest and stupidest arguments that a creationist can claim. If they use it, it indicates that they sincerely do not know what science actually is, or more succinctly, they don’t know what the words scientific theory mean. It is amazing that they don’t consider this in light to other theories. Cell Theory, Germ Theory, Collision Theory, Atomic Theory and the theories of General and Special Relativity. I mean, I could name hundreds of these theories and they will not insist that these are just “theories”. They will insist that there is evidence for them. So why exactly are they called theories? Because theory has a particular meaning in science.

I decided to look at this in more detail during an essay of mine for my course. I had found, in a book I particularly enjoyed, an essay by James Trefil called “Scientific Literacy”. In this, Trefil argues that understanding how science works is more important than facts and figures and considering creationists, I think it is a brilliant point. For those interested, the paper is from a conference called “A Flight from Science & Reason” (see Bibliography).

Another thing I saw this week was again from my friend Gav. He introduced me to Penn & Teller, Bullshit! I’ve put the link on my site, but I absolutely love the way they are able to explain how science works in a way which is great for anyone that has no background in science. The creationist episode which involved a rabbit to demonstrate the lack of democracy in science was particularly well done I think. I highly recommend watching at least a few episodes.

My other post this week I couldn’t resist. I’m sorry but sometimes I truly do wonder whether Ken Ham and co. are seriously trying to fuck with our heads, ala Andy Kaufmann style.

Trefil, J. (1996), Scientific Literacy, In Gross, PR., Levitt, N. & Lewis, MW. (1996), The Flight from Science And Reason, Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences Volume 775

Just a Theory

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 11, (2009),

Just a Theory!

Today a ground-breaking decision was made as the American education authorities agreed that Evolution was indeed “Just a theory”. However, their decision shocked creationists as they also stated that flat-earthism, geocentrism, Intelligent Falling, homeopathy and other alternative theories would be added to the science curriculum besides creationism.

“But, but, but, they’re all rubbish”, stammered a creationist follower. “They have no basis in fact, they aren’t science!”

This general feeling of shock was espoused among other creationists too, however, other supporters of the various theories mentioned expressed their shock and disapproval.

“The creationists disapprove of the mediums, the mediums disapprove of the flat-earthers, etc, everyone seems to be upset that another group is going to be taught alongside their particular theory” stated a nervous official. “We only wanted to try and accommodate everyone who complained about standard scientific theories being just theories.”

The education boards advise that these theories are taught alongside the ones proposed by science in order to let the children make their minds up. As a result of the new information being added to this curriculum, the authorities have recommended that science classes have been extended to include more time for these. As a result, pupils will be expected to spend approximately 30% of their week studying science, or as the educational authorities have renamed it, “Explanations for the natural and supernatural” lessons.

Whilst the educational authorities are indeed trying to assist the people that have been arguing against the past science curriculum, it seems that they have done too much in the way of assistance.

In relation to this, foreign Universities are now refusing to teach anyone wanting to do science subjects after taking this new curriculum. A spokesperson stated that until America can figure out what science is, they will not let people with no qualifications in this field study the subject at degree level.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

TV Evangelist cures deaf man of Blindness

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 10, (2009),

TV Evangelist cures deaf man of Blindness

Today the Christian community declared it was amazed as a deaf man was cured of blindness by faith healer, Peter Popoff. H. Martin attended Popoff’s service, intending to see whether God could heal his deafness, a problem which had been growing steadily worse over the past few years. However, when Popoff spoke to him, he did not heal the deafness, instead he stated that he had healed the cataracts in the man’s eyes. H. Martin’s response to this was “Whut? Speak up man!”.

Popoff is a well known faith healer having worked for many years healing people of their illnesses.In the 1980s, James Randi brought accusations against Popoff, accusing him of faking his miraculous powers. As a result, Popoff, filed for bankruptcy in 1987. However, several years later he made a comeback and is continuing his ministry.

When requesting an interview with Popoff, he declined and instead made an official statement:

“The healing that was carried out on Mr Martin was to remove the cataracts which would form in his eyes. God reached down and spoke to me saying that demons were planning to give this God-fearing man blindness. Instead I prevented this from happening and the family is very grateful. I am sorry that I was unable to cure his deafness too, however, God has informed me that it is a test for him to overcome.”

Unfortunately, when we came to interview Mr H. Martin the only response we got was: “Whut? I can’t hear you because that preacher shouted down mai ears!”