Just a Theory

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 11, (2009),

Just a Theory!

Today a ground-breaking decision was made as the American education authorities agreed that Evolution was indeed “Just a theory”. However, their decision shocked creationists as they also stated that flat-earthism, geocentrism, Intelligent Falling, homeopathy and other alternative theories would be added to the science curriculum besides creationism.

“But, but, but, they’re all rubbish”, stammered a creationist follower. “They have no basis in fact, they aren’t science!”

This general feeling of shock was espoused among other creationists too, however, other supporters of the various theories mentioned expressed their shock and disapproval.

“The creationists disapprove of the mediums, the mediums disapprove of the flat-earthers, etc, everyone seems to be upset that another group is going to be taught alongside their particular theory” stated a nervous official. “We only wanted to try and accommodate everyone who complained about standard scientific theories being just theories.”

The education boards advise that these theories are taught alongside the ones proposed by science in order to let the children make their minds up. As a result of the new information being added to this curriculum, the authorities have recommended that science classes have been extended to include more time for these. As a result, pupils will be expected to spend approximately 30% of their week studying science, or as the educational authorities have renamed it, “Explanations for the natural and supernatural” lessons.

Whilst the educational authorities are indeed trying to assist the people that have been arguing against the past science curriculum, it seems that they have done too much in the way of assistance.

In relation to this, foreign Universities are now refusing to teach anyone wanting to do science subjects after taking this new curriculum. A spokesperson stated that until America can figure out what science is, they will not let people with no qualifications in this field study the subject at degree level.