Saturday, 12 September 2009

Creationism, the new mental illness

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 23

Creationism, the new mental illness

Today mental institutions were in shock as it was announced throughout the medical community that the people who propose the idea that a deity created the Earth as it currently is, without any acceptance of Evolution are to be considered mentally disturbed and in some cases dangerous.

A report was recently published in the scientific journal Nature, which demonstrated the lack of connection between creationists and the modern world, showing that prominent creationists such as Kent Hovind, Ken Ham, etc, were living in a fantasy world of their own devising which could cause them to resort to extreme measures in order to maintain these illusions.

Dr Suess of the Royal Institute for Mental Illness stated this morning that:

"The people that often propose the literal translation of the Bible is true, often have been found to resort to deceit, threats of violence, intimidation, paranoia and immature behaviour in order to propagate their own world view. Evidence of this includes attempts of illegal censorship, death threats towards prominent scientists and the common practice of internet trolling. This has been found not only occurring with the prominent figures supporting creationism but normal internet posters. After extensive study of their behaviours including laboratory tests, psychological researchers have requested that some of the prominent figures in the creationist campaign are put in a secure institute for the safety of others and that re-education should be attempted.

Doctors at a range of mental institutes have reacted with horror at the news.

"We're going to run out of facilities in religious areas" moaned one un-named psychologist. "With a high percentage of people in places like the Bible Belt in the USA, it'll mean putting whole communities in the institutes! We haven't the room!"

Outside the Texas Home for the Mentally Frail, a shot of Kent Hovind is shown, being dragged in a strait jacket into his new home whilst angry protestors demand his release.

"This isn't fair, you can't lock up people simply for having a different viewpoint" cried one angry protestor. "Afterall, its just as equally valid as Evolution!"

Whilst this may be a successful day for reason, it seems a dangerous day for free speech.

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