Wednesday, 30 September 2009

On your head

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Volume 25, 2009

Schools encourage standing on head whilst learning

The founders of the popular education programme, Brain Gym have released new guidelines in order to encourage learning prowess and increase the susceptibility of kids to absorb new information. Paul Dennison revealed today that he had divined some new activities to use in the classroom before and during teaching. These include standing on their heads and wiggling their ears.

Brain Gym is the controversial exercise program which relies upon stimulating points of the body to encourage learning. Its methods include drinking small sips of water to wet the palate in order to increase water access to the brain and stimulation of "brain buttons" to encourage circulation to the brain. As a result it has been proven popular with primary school teachers who have claimed that it has been helpful in calming children down and making them receptive to education.

During the interview Paul Dennison stated that:

"After careful consideration I realised that in order to encourage the brain to work efficiently, more blood needed to be pumped to the head. I concluded from this that standing on your head may help with this, using gravity to send more oxygen to the brain. I also realised whilst trying out this position myself that wiggling my ears may also increase my ability to tune out distracting sounds in the environment."

In order to demonstrate this property, Paul Dennison carried out the succeeding question and answer session after wiggling his ears and then standing on his head. Unfortunately, he became woozy after a few minutes and had to cut short this question and answer session that he had with the media.

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