Expelled Star gives up on modern living

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 20, 2009

Expelled Star gives up on modern living

Today, Ben Stein announced he was giving up his lifestyle as an actor and economist as he w\as about to go back to nature.

The star of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, announced that due to the reliance on evil science in the modern world, he was going to return to nature in order to avoid the comforting evil brought on by modern Godless, science.

The star explained that this derived from a comment he once made, in which he stated that:

"Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people."

Someone, he said, pointed out that all modern technology was brought on by science. He then decided that this meant he must renounce technology and live in the woods like the animals. He then proceeded to tear his clothes off and run stark naked into the woods behind the press conference centre.

Several hours later, Mr Stein, was escorted into an ambulance and treated for hypothermia. Police are also cautioning him for public nudity.

Supermarkets show record levels of tin foil being sold.

Journal of Imaginary Sciences, Vol 19, (2009),

Supermarkets show record levels of tin foil being sold.

Supermarkets have displayed a record level of tin foil being sold since May 2008 last year. The manufacturers have stated they are currently lagging behind demand as tin foil is continuously being reordered by supermarkets.

"We're not entirely certain what the cause of this is" said one supermarket spokesperson. "There is no cause as far as we can see really."

When independent researchers did a survey of the people buying tin foil, many of them simply said "cooking", however, one or two referred to a documentary they saw recently called Expelled.

Subsequent research demonstrated that the sale of tin foil increased more or less to the day that the film was released. Discovery Institute had this to say:

"We are pleased to note people are wearing the hats as they encourage reception between themselves and the Designer". The scientists who describe this as rubbish are on the same side as the evolutionists who are suppressing our free speech".

Tin Foil Hats