Saturday, 28 March 2009

Journal of Imaginary Sciences Vol 4 (2009),

Homeopathy banned as high levels of dangerous chemicals found in drugs.

The homeopathic drug industry collapsed today as high levels of a dangerous drug were detected in their products.

A recent review of the preparation processes found that the industry regularly used this dangerous chemical to dilute their medicines. The homeopathic industry expressed their shock when they learned of the dangerous properties of the chemical, dihydrogen monoxide.

“We had no idea about the dangerous properties of this chemical” said the spokesman for Homeopaths Against Regular Medicine (HARM). “We believed it was completely safe and we were shocked to find out that we were using it to dilute the medicine not once or twice, but at least 20 times. As a result, we’re ruined, the regular practitioners of medicine have won….”

Dihydrogen Monoxide is known to be extremely deadly indeed. Scientists have already noted its presence in acid rain and the contribution it makes to global warming. In a solid form, it is known to cause severe burns and induce radical changes in the landscape. It is a corrosive substance, causing the accelerated oxidisation of many metals too. Besides this, it has been found to cause electrical faults and decreased efficiency in car brakes. It is also noted that only 2 inches of the chemical is required to kill a person.

Dihydrogen Monoxide has been noted for being a dangerous chemical for at least 20 years. In 1994, the webpage was created to attempt to inform the public on the dangers of this chemical.

Due to the dependence of the homeopathic industry on this chemical it has led to the industry being warned that it must withdraw the products with the chemical. As this has involved all of their products, this has resulted in the collapse of their industry. As the homeopathic industry grinds to a halt, it looks like regular medicine is now the only regular product in pharmacies.

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